This is how it goes every single time I order at Subway.
STAGE ONE: Ordering
I cover all eventualities with this request: "Can I have a six inch Spicy Italian sub on hearty Italian bread, cheese and toasted?"
This is when the questions start.
"Which bread?" I am asked.
"Hearty Italian." I reply.
"Would you like a 12" for two pounds more?" He asks.
"No, a six inch." I reply.
"Cheese and toasted?" He asks.
"Yes," I reply slowly, "cheese and toasted."
STAGE TWO: Garnishing
"Salad?"
"Yes, everything apart from onion." I say.
"Everything apart from onion?"
"Yes. Everything apart from onion." I repeat.
STAGE THREE: Paying
"That's £3.59 please. Upgrade to a meal deal? Would you like a drink? A cookie?"
"No thank you. This is fine."
I pay, I present my loyalty card and then I eat my delicious Subway, exhausted by the whole process.
IN CONCLUSION: TOO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS.
